I just lost a deal. Boy, do I hate that! After I got done with my pity party (it was a good one), I had to act like an adult and ask myself “what’s your problem?”. Losing isn’t all bad, right? I grew up playing sports and now mainly play tennis. I still really (really, really) hate to lose. I am a gracious loser, always congratulating the winner and complimenting their game. It’s another story when I am back in my car away from my opponent. I will break down every shot, point and decision to see where I went wrong. I’ll think about where I lost concentration, momentum and so on. My husband is a tennis player so when I get home I spend the remainder of the evening thinking out loud to analyze the match with him.
The outcome is that during my next match, I don’t make the same mistakes, I pay attention to avoid similar pitfalls and with each match gain experience and expertise. I play at a much higher level than I did several years ago.
The benefits of losing exist in sales, too. I never make an excuse for why I lost in tennis yet I found myself making excuses for why I lost this deal. Too often, when I am on the winning side of a tennis match my opponent makes an excuse for why they lost. They say “I just played a three hour match last night and am tired today” or “my back has been acting up” or any number of other excuses. I make a point to never do this in tennis. So, why did I let myself do this in sales? It’s easy to blame the economy, the prospective client’s decision process, the dishonest opponent or any number of things other than ourselves. Maybe our egos are the problem. The reality is that these outside factors will exist in every deal I pursue so I might as well work on myself and how I can sell in an imperfect world, ego aside.
So, as I asked myself “What’s your problem?” I answered a few questions that I’ll share here. Maybe they will help someone going through a similar exercise.
- Did I stop to explore anything that may have indicated we weren’t the best fit? Or did I ignore my gut and continue down my sales path hoping that issue would go away?
- Did I follow my sales process?
- Did the client act as a partner through the process or was I doing all the work, hitting all the deadlines and “fetching”?
- Did I have complete access to everyone at the prospective client who would be involved in deciding the best solution?
- Did I involve the right resources in my own company to best showcase our solution?
- Did I understand what they were willing to pay for the outcomes they expected?
- Were they all on the same page and, if not, did I address that with someone?
- Did I understand what was going on in my client’s organization and where this fit contextually?
- What was my state of mind? Was I willing to walk away from a less than great match or was I desperate?
- After my presentation, did I have any clue where we stood?
These are just a few of the questions that have consumed my thoughts. We will lose and, as much as that hurts, we can take away very important lessons that will help us win more. We must be open, stop making excuses, put a time limit on the pity party and get back out there better equipped for the next round.
Happy Losing!

